pumpkin spice popcorn

Well, it's Friday once again. We've made it yet another week in this cold, dark world, and to celebrate my last day here at the office for the season I'm going to share one of my favorite snacks of all time, with, of course, an Autumn-inspired twist: pumpkin spice popcorn.

Obviously, everyone among us here has popped up a bag of Orville in the microwave before. Not everybody realizes, however, that this same whole-grain treat can be acquired in much larger amounts for much less money when produced without the crutch of an established corporate brand. Portion control is for losers. I didn't want to say it, but it had to be said.

In addition to the popcorn, we're going to make a customized pumpkin spice seasoning blend that can be used literally anywhere. I figured that the earlier we introduce the blend here, the more time we have to enjoy the magic that is pumpkin spice before it's winter and everything sucks again.

Autumn Week leaves us with an ingredient list as short as it is sweet.

popcorn kernels

coconut oil

sugar

cinnamon

allspice

freshly-grated nutmeg

a pinch of salt

This is pinkbelly. We are #TeamPumpkinSpiceEverything. Come with me. Let's finish up on a strong note and reach our fullest potential as basic bitches.

The French call this a "mise en place." It's missing a few ingredients. We'll get to those in a moment. For now, let's focus on our approach.

The idea here is to recreate the whole microwave popcorn bag experience; here you can see that I've cut the top off of a paper grocery bag from Trader Joe's. This will enable the bag to rotate fully in the machine unhindered by unnecessary bulk. Even heat distribution is essential here.

Toss in a few tablespoons of kernels. I put mine in for two minutes, taking the bag out immediately after hearing the first one pop. This part is crucial, and you've got to do it fast. As soon as it's in your hand, shake it vigorously and stick it back in for another two minutes. This brings all of the kernels up to popping temperature at once and solves the classic problem of choosing between pulling out a bag that's half un-popped kernels and settling for a fully popped bag that's burnt and overdone.

I think some people call kernels that never come to life like the rest "old maids." Same.

Here is the blend of sugar, salt, and spices. I ran 'em through the blender to make them light and powder-y enough to stick.

Now for our vessel. Pour about a tablespoon of liquid coconut oil into a trash bag. Massage the oil from the outside to coat the inside thoroughly. And yes, I did forget oil in the ingredient gif for this recipe. I'm only human, vultures. Surprise.

Throw the popcorn into the oil and then dump in the pumpkin spice mixture. Toss until coated. That's it. That's the ball game. We made it.

Feeling peckish on your morning commute? Now you have a tasty solution. Need something to munch on during your next Netflix sesh? Boom. Done. There are thousands of ways to get this shit into your body. It is a snack for all occasions.

One other thing I love to do with the pumpkin spice mix is stir some into my coffee in the morning to recreate the ever-iconic PSL, à la le maison du Starbucks. It's like having infinity pumpkin spice lattes in the comfort of your own kitchen for a fraction of the cost. Thank me later, sisters.

So try 'em both at home. Let me know what you think. This is honestly a combination I never get sick of, at least while it's in season.

Hopefully this one really spoke to the inner white girl we all harbor deep within the recesses of our souls. It's a decadent treat, but let's face it. We could all use a little something extra to keep us warm in the coming months.