sweet potato soup

Alright, folks. It's time for another one. Welcome back to pinkbelly, your one-stop spot for half-assed, plant-based madness, from my kitchen straight into your heart. We're truckin' right along through #DepressionWeek and, boy, have we got a crazy one in store for you today.

With all of the newly-acquired free time that comes with being being a huge loser, I've been finding myself pigging out much more often than usual. Adding a bit of protein to this recipe is my special little way of combatting those dark urges. This is a spin on the ever-beloved sweet potato soup, something I can only assume is another classic vegan staple. It actually tastes pretty good un-ironically, so I definitely recommend making this in big batches. It'll give you something delicious to slug down throughout the day whenever the emptiness of unemployment becomes a bit too much to bear. Nothing says "October" to me like adopting a liquid-based diet.

one sweet potato

one carrot

one quarter of a cup of chickpeas

one third of a white onion

one large clove of garlic

one cup of unsweetened soymilk

three tablespoons of olive oil

one half of a teaspoon of garlic powder

one half of a teaspoon of cayenne

one half of a teaspoon of ground sage

one half of a teaspoon of paprika

one quarter of a teaspoon of ground ginger

one teaspoon of salt

one teaspoon of pepper

You guys are gonna love this one. I've got jury duty today, though, so please forgive me if this entry feels rushed.

Gather your veggies and skin 'em alive. Set the onion and garlic aside for now and cut your sweet potato and carrot into large medallions. We're gonna start off by steaming them.

Yes, that steamer basket is from a rice cooker. That's one part of my private life I was sort of dreading bringing up on the blog. Make no mistake: I'm a terrible cook. I have literally never gotten rice right on the stove once in my time on this planet. The situation got so dire that about a year ago I just bought the thing from Target on a whim and ever since then life has been great. Anyway. We're not using the bottom part of it today. I had my chickpeas boiling away in the bottom chamber and the sweet potato and carrot hanging out up top.

While those soften, get your onions and garlic browning in the pot you're going to cook the soup in. Let's procure some fond, and learn a couple of valuable lessons along the way.

These are the onion chunks, and right there are the pieces of garlic. I was just getting into the zone over here when I started to smell some burning plastic. I went over to the stove to check on the yam slices, somehow thinking that the odor was them "over-steaming." It was not. It was a different kind of disaster entirely.

Steamer handle? Ruined. Potholder? Fucking ruined. This is a textbook example of me voiding the warranty everywhere I go.

The potato and carrot were still not done yet, so I just tossed them right into the water. I don't even know why I bothered with the basket in the first place.

That'll do, pig. That'll do.

Once you've successfully navigated through that leg of the journey,

fill your cup up to the line, including of course the soymilk. We're about to make some baby food. 

Dump it all into your fond-crusted pot over a medium-low flame. Toss in your spice blend and start stirring. Once you can smell it, yank it off the stove and onto a heat-resistant surface for a photo-op.

This stuff can stand in as either a side dish or an entrée, depending on how you dress it up. Probably not both at once, though, especially if you're having company over. It might be a faux pas to serve people four courses that all end up being the same soup every time.

How queer does that little bowl look? I sliced up a tomato and dug a few pumpkin seeds out of the pantry in an attempt to bring everything to life a little bit, but somehow both toppings just made the entire thing seem way too depressing, even after taking this week's theme into consideration. Next time I'll skip this part and just default to sticking a straw right into the pot, the way god intended.

As usual, this recipe is perfect for pouring into a jar. You can take it along with you to school, to work, or, if you're anything like me, to jury duty. And with that, I'm heading out the door. I'll talk to you suckers tomorrow.