jelly
Well, it's Friday, and it's almost time to start packin' it in for the week. This has been a kooky couple of days and I'm proud to see that the majority of you have made it through alive and in one piece. The last thing on our agenda before we start drinking for the weekend? Jelly, to go with our wildly successful peanut butter creation from yesterday. That's right; you're gonna watch me make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, completely from scratch. The ultimate White Bread Week conclusion, brought to you exclusively by the pinkbelly brand. If you didn't see this coming, I don't know what to tell you. We've been doing this for a month. Get with the fucking program.
We're gonna be consulting the experts on this one, because the last time I made preserves of any kind was by accident. Sadia over at Pick Up Limes has a great chia seed jam recipe that we're gonna try to rip off. Sometimes you find a blog that really changes things for you; this is one of those times. Sadia is a dietician. She's from Canada, and she knows everything there is to know about food. She helped me understand that it's just not okay to eat huge quantities of things like Corn Nuts right before bed. I still do it, sometimes, but now I know it's wrong.
Today is a creative interpretation of her original recipe, with a few slight modifications on my part; we went the extra mile and got it on the stove for a bit, just to show off a little. I also chose to use a pomegranate instead of some type of frozen berry assortment, not through any intellectual process but rather because there's a tree of them growing near my house. I'm the vamp kid. I'm constantly siphoning resources off of the system. Sue me.
pomegranate seeds
four tablespoons of stevia
one tablespoon of chia seeds
half of a cup of water
the juice and zest of one lemon
a pinch of salt
Hope I did you proud, Sadia. You know I'm just sort of winging it here. It never turns out the way I expect it to.
The first logical step would probably be popping the pom open like a zit. This part is going to look like a crime scene no matter how you do it, so no need to be overly precious about it. It's best not to take this challenge on in your Sunday clothes. There's no reason you should be wearing them right now in the first place.
The best way to do this from what I understand is running your knife along the skin of the fruit to remove the top; this reveals where the membrane walls separate the seed chambers. Score the outside where each one breaks and pull the fruit apart. Voilà. They are at your mercy. It seems like most people then choose to spank them out into a bowl with a spoon, but I just used my fingers like a slob.
The completed bowl of liberated arils, juice splattered tastefully along the side of the bowl and all. Mix in the stevia, chia seeds, lemon juice, zest, and salt. Get your water going over a medium flame and add in the pre-jam concoction.
After a good thirty minutes of simmering and stirring, it should reduce down to something like this. I have no objective criteria for when it is fit for consumption. Use your eyes, people.
Well, ain't that cute. They're friends already, despite their differences. I read on Twitter once that diversity is for white people. Guess you guys came to the right place for that.
Did you miss my shitty scone-bread? I did, mostly because I was rationing this particular top and bottom specifically for today's round of photos. You know those videos where a person will put a treat on their dog's nose and tell them not to eat it? That's been me all week. I'm a dirty hound, and I'm so hungry for the scooby snack.
I feel like this one isn't going to go over so well in the comments section. This sandwich took four hours to prepare, front-to-back, and it was worth every god damn second. You have not had a pb&j until you've tried the real deal. And it doesn't get much more authentic than this.
