black bean brownies
- emmadawngarofalo .
- Nov 2, 2017
- 3 min read

Look. Every human being loves brownies; it's a socially universal principle. Fudge-y brownies, cake-y brownies, hell, even cosmic brownies with little rainbow candies embedded into the top. Making brownies is an activity that rarely results in disaster or heartache, which is why I've chosen them for this fine Thursday morning.
Today's gonna be another one of those days where we're just sort of going to be feeling our way around in the dark without the aid of a previously established recipe. While brainstorming for this post I hearkened back to the days of old and found inspiration in the box brownies of childhood that I miss so, so dearly.
one cup of coconut flour
one cup of cocoa powder
one cup of stevia
one cup of puréed black beans
one half of a cup of pumpkin, mashed
one quarter of a cup of coconut oil
one tablespoon of peanut butter
one half of a cup of molasses
two tablespoons of ground chia seeds
one tablespoon of vanilla
one teaspoon of baking powder
a pinch of salt
A little of this? A little of that? Sure, I know how to make a pan of brownies. Let's see how it all shakes out.

Here are the ladies, sittin' pretty, of course. I was really worried about these things falling apart so I made sure to include as many binding agents as possible to ensure the maximum amount of success. Preheat the oven to 350°. Soak the chia egg. I'm already so excited. It's like they're all going to be holding hands.

Now that's what I call a mixing bowl shot. It looks a little bit like the rim of a dirty toilet bowl along the sides, but I think things like that add an air of gritty realism to the blog. Makes you feel like you're experiencing something instead of just fucking around online at six-thirty AM.

Once everything comes together, it should look something like this. Sure, it's not as runny as real brownie batter, but that just makes anticipating the results all the more exciting. These things could turn out hard as rocks. Not ever knowing is half of the fun, in my opinion. Toss in the chunks. Turn the batter until they are distributed evenly.

Grease down the baking pan and prepare yourself to spread; here you can see I've chosen this iconic glass piece, right out of my dead grandmother's kitchen. If she were alive and knew what I was doing with it right now, she would surely break my legs.

Here's what it looked like after being in the oven for a good thirty minutes or so; a bit dry on top, but we've definitely got brownies. The dehydrated look almost makes it feel like the fossil of an ancient, rudimentary tray of brownies excavated out of the rubble of some Mesopotamian ruins. Or whatever. That could just be my imagination getting ahead of me.

They certainly lacked the glossy sheen of real brownies, that much was more than apparent right away. But otherwise, I feel like I can really vouch for this recipe. The aroma was there. The texture was, if I may be frank, divine, despite the lack of gooey moisture. If anything, I should have added more coconut oil, but that's beside the point. We're here now, it's done, and we can't ever go back. The brownies will not go to waste.
Can I recommend trying this healthy twist on a timeless classic out at home? Absolutely, without a doubt. They're dry. They're crumbly. They're so delicious, it's dangerous. These guys are going straight into the freezer. Mama's gotta pace herself nowadays.

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