orange juice

Today's been one of those mornings where I really feel myself staring down into the void. I've been unemployed for nearly two months now, and while I've found ways to keep busy, I can't help but feel that there's more I could be doing with my life beyond going out on random Craigslist gigs and writing copy for a marketing firm in Encino. I'm not good at it. I'm making a counseling appointment at a local community college today, Dan Harmon-style. I'm just too fucking stupid to learn how to code.

No matter where you as a person currently stand in life, one thing that's for damn sure is that you need to be getting your vitamin C. For any young mover/shaker, finding time to work citrus into your diet can be difficult, but it doesn't have to be. Liquifying the fruit makes taking your nutrition on the go a breeze, and I'm gonna show you how to do it.

several oranges

I knew a guy in school who actually got scurvy one time. This one goes out to you, Thomas, wherever you are.

The first step is removing the outer peels. A little background on these oranges: my mother is well-known in town for occasionally going on walks and harvesting fruit from trees hanging over the sidewalk, a legacy that, thanks to a very severe persimmon addiction, I find myself reluctantly carrying on. These oranges in particular, I believe, were actually a gift from a neighbor who sometimes sees us on our rounds and wanted to make a direct donation. It felt a bit like accepting charity, but I'm certainly not about to turn away a basketful of blessed fruit. Not in this economy.

Once you've pared away the skin, cut them into some shitty fake wedges and toss them all into the blender cup. You shouldn't need any water or sugar; avoid masking the flavor of the oranges with unnecessary additions. These things are nature's candy. I hate when people say that, but it's so true. Let them be who they are.

Once you've whizzed everything up, strain the liquid from the mush with a fine mesh sieve. If you've got a lot of pith in the mix, get a spoon in there and try your best to massage the juice through. Do this part in stages so as to avoid any potential spill-over.

This one was an unexpected delight. I hate to be the one to make a statement like this but, boy howdy, real orange juice is actually way better than any orange juice I've ever had out of the carton. As somebody who most certainly does not own her own tree, drinking five oranges every morning for breakfast in this way is not economically sustainable, but that's why I'm going back to school to get a real job. Some day, I'm gonna be the big man drinking fruit like it's nothing. This is my dream.

Here's all of the extra pulp; it seemed to embody a texture that vaguely resembled applesauce, so instead of throwing it away I topped it with a sprinkle of cinnamon and tried eating it like that. It did not feel or taste anything like applesauce, but that didn't stop it from becoming my evening treat for the night. And what a treat it was.

This is for those of you always looking to get your #BonusSnacks in. As a fellow snack-a-holic, I'm right there with you. I'm a naughty little bitch.