eggplant pasta
Good morning, friends and esteemed colleagues. Today is Friday, January twelfth, two-thousand and eighteen. I'm happy to report that I have survived the first two Mondays of the year and can only assume that the fact that you're here right now reading these words means that you have successfully done the same. Let's keep the ball rolling and finish the week off strong with some vegan shenanigans.
When Italians are feeling naughty, they like to carbo-load. We are a peaceful people, uninterested in the petty affairs of mortal beings; naturally, as the next link in the chain of life connecting the primordial heart of Italy with the present, I'm quite interested in sharing this part of my heritage with you all now.
one cup of cubed eggplant
seven cloves of smashed garlic
one teaspoon of olive oil
one tablespoon of tomato paste
four tablespoons of nutritional yeast
one teaspoon of onion powder
one teaspoon of black pepper
salt to taste
some sort of de-glazing agent
Okay, so I lied and caved on no-shop January; I've actually gone to the grocery store at least three times since last touching base here. I promise that one day I'm actually going to get my shit together.
The star of the show in terms of flavor? This is a small bottle of liquid my mother brought out with her last time she came to stay here; nobody knows what's inside of it, and when I asked her, all she would say was "masala." I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with Indian masala; one time, I came home from work and saw her eating something she made with it, but to this day I still have no idea how she prepares food with it or how it is properly used in general. I took a sniff under the lid, it smells a bit like cooking sherry. Today, we're going to play by our own rules.
To get things moving, start frying off the eggplant in olive oil and just a pinch of salt; you want a nice char on these things so they'll really be able to absorb all of the decadent flavors we are about to orchestrate. Once they stop looking like shit and start looking like lunch, add the garlic, seasoning, and tomato paste, reserving only the nutritional yeast on the side; put that in only after most of the moisture from the eggplant has evaporated. It will serve as an emulsifier of sorts for our sauce.
This is a terrible photo, but none of the others accurately captured the anxiety I feel whenever I have to do something like this in the kitchen. The liquid starts boiling as soon as it hits the pan, everything startled me so much that I accidentally knocked a few chunks out of bounds while in the midst of things. Awful.
Once you've made it past the terrifying steaming phase of the operation, however, it's as simple as dumping in a good scoop of pasta that you should have already had boiling on the side. Toss everything around with a tablespoon or two of the p-aquafaba (pasta water, this is a term I just invented and promise never to use again) until everything is coated thoroughly in mystery sauce.
God, it feels weird writing here only once a week; I'm so used to having a chance every day to really knock everybody's socks off. I do something like this and can't help but think, looking back, that I could have tried harder. Maybe next Friday.
