banana bread
Today began just like any other day. I swung my legs out of bed, had a glare at myself in the bathroom mirror, and, after choking back the usual wave of nausea and disgust, decided that it was time to begin using for the day.
As I made my way to the kitchen, going through the motions of preparing a delicious mug full of life-sustaining caffeine, I stumbled across something in the fridge that I had almost completely forgotten about, a slice of something precious and delicious. I took a small step back, reeling. What day is today?
Friday. They always sneak up on me now. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as the full realization dawned on me slowly. Today, we blog.
Banana bread is yet another vegan classic - it's easy as hell to make, and it solves the ancient vegan problem of using up bananas that have ripened even past the point of freezing them. As an individual who cannot tolerate the taste or texture of a banana even days past what I personally deem its expiration date, this recipe was a natural next step in my dietary journey and I figured there was no better place to show it off than here.
The Minimalist Baker is something of a name in the vegan blogosphere, and somebody I would trust with my life when it comes to allergen-free flour substitutions, or the ultimate zesty sauce to toss one's zoodles in. In 2014, she concocted what has to be the most delicious-looking vegan and gluten-free banana bread I had ever laid eyes on, and this week, I decided that I just had to get a slice. With a few slight modifications.
for the bread:
one ripe banana
one cup of oats
one half of a cup of corn flour
one quarter of a cup of rice flour
two teaspoons of baking powder
one half of a teaspoon of salt
one half of a teaspoon of cinnamon
two teaspoons of powdered peanut butter
five packets of splenda
two large tablespoons of coconut oil
one teaspoon of vanilla
one half of a cup of water
for the marbling:
two tablespoons of sugar
four tablespoons of cinnamon
two tablespoons of coconut oil
for the top:
extra oats
cinnamon
frozen banana slices
You guys are gonna hate this, but I actually did write down the exact measurements I used this time, making this one just as authentic as the nonsense we used to do here a very long, long time ago.
Gather your dry seasonings in preparation of the ever-exciting sifting phase of the operation; gone are the days where I am satisfied eating a homemade pastry product with solid clods of raw baking soda running throughout. Taking the time and care to do this part will ensure that little microscopic cinnamon bits permeate every corner of the loaf we are about to produce.
If you're anything like me, the corn flour you're using was purchased as a mistake at least fifteen months previously and was milled roughly in your blender cup only moments ago. Upgrading to this finer sieve will prevent any large, sandy granules that did not quite break down completely from making their way into the batter; these unpleasant particles are why my Aunt Vicki is afraid to eat anything I bring over to her house anymore. I'm a terrible chef and niece, and I will burn for it. With that being said, now is as good a time as ever to microwave the sugar, cinnamon, and oil reserved for the inner glaze that will run throughout the banana bread.
Add the batter into your greased pan in two layers, pouring in the cinnamon slop after the first half has been pressed down firmly. Do your best to smooth the remaining batter overtop in an even manner; do not fret if you are unable to cover every trace of the glaze completely.
This part ended up being the real caloric bomb in the recipe; I went overboard with the coconut oil, this may have actually been a reasonably safe treat to enjoy regularly if I had exercised a bit more self-control. You can decorate the top with more oats and a healthy sprinkle of cinnamon; I brushed the remaining oil over the frozen bananas.
After spending a good hour in the oven at 350°, this is our final result, and she's a real beaut, if I do say so myself. While it certainly isn't as glorious as the Minimalist Baker's, I like to think that somehow, she's watching over me and smiling fondly, even if only out of sheer pity.
Jam is a natural first choice as a snack enhancement; you can sort of perceive the very faint presence of the peanut butter powder, and any type of fruit or fruity spread will elevate that note to soaring new heights. With a moist crumb and toasty, comforting edges, this banana bread is the perfect morning-time companion to your favorite cup of hot tea, coffee, or cider.
As mentioned previously, I'm on a fucking diet, meaning a good portion of this loaf is going to have a long sit in the freezer to think about what it's done, or, more accurately, what I've done to it.
If you also are trying to be less of a fatass in 2018, you'll be glad to know that this bread can be instantly revived to its former glory at any time. Thirty seconds in the microwave, and sweet relief is on its way.
