slut soup

Alright. Welcome back to my little corner of paradise. Today marks week two of my new life, and I'm happy to say that I haven't exactly fucked myself up yet. After many months of skrimping and saving, I finally broke down and made a few (necessary) professional purchases; while I am giving up on my dreams for the time being, I decided to at least invest in a new photography website, some business cards, and a hundred and forty-nine dollar blood test to help my new gyno determine why exactly I haven't menstruated since September - three radical, unprecedented acts of self-care. What can I say? I'm worth it. After this I'm heading down to the local tea shop to drop off another job application. It's going to be fine.

After letting a bit of hot air out of my wallet, however, I figured it's time to hop back onto my frugal girl saddle and continue my meteoric ascension to financial independence. This week's recipe probably isn't anything you guys are going to consider haute couture, per se, but what it lacks in glamor, it certainly makes up for in satisfaction. Sweet potatoes are one of my all-time favorite foods, as many of you may have gathered in our brief time together thus far - they're filling, nourishing, delicious, and have the power to dampen even the most severe carb-attack, something I have always been especially prone to. For all intents and purposes, I am a sweet potato; soft and comforting, full of beta carotene, and very, very orange.

As an individual who has been a dirty little skank since day one, what we're about to make here should come as no surprise to any of you. Slut soup is aptly named for many reasons, but most prominently so because it's a recipe that will fuel your day without requiring any real skill to prepare - easy, just like yours truly. It's also perfect for the tramp on a budget, featuring only a scant four ingredients, freeing your finances to fuel more worthy parts of your life, like paying your taxes. Which, incidentally, I just filed on my own for the first time in my life. Nearly two months early. I may be a tart, but I'm nothing if not punctual to a fault.

sweet potato, cubed

v8 tomato juice

salt

pepper

You guys already know I'm all for show; being a harlot and sham certainly isn't always a walk in the park, but it's the path I've carved for myself. You won't ever catch me making excuses for my poor life choices, I guarantee it.

If you've got time on your hands, you can roast the potatoes, but if you're anything like me, you know that the shaft of life just isn't going to up and stroke itself every day. As somebody who likes to get out the door ASAP in the morning, if only to beat the unbearable torture of mid-morning LA traffic, I prefer the tried-and-true method illustrated in the photo above - dump your chunks into a ramekin, cover the bottom of the dish with a bit of tap water, top the mess with a paper towel, and microwave everything for approximately three minutes, or until the boys are fork-tender and ready to shred.

The V8 is probably the most extravagant part of this recipe; while by no means necessary, I find that is lends the dish an essential richness that cannot be denied. This is probably going to make any gourmands in the audience gag, which is something I absolutely cannot relate to. I love V8; I think it's delicious. It's like drinking soup out of a cup, whenever the hell you want. If it was a bit more sustaining on its own, I probably wouldn't even go through all the trouble of adding anything else to it, but I digress. Let's continue.

I think you know what time it is; pull out the blender cup and dump it all in - add the liquid element to your preference, achieving a consistency that you enjoy, replacing some or all of the tomato juice with water if this suits you.

Keep things going in the Magic Bullet until there are no discernible potato lumps left floating around in the mix. If you're looking for something more toothsome, make a roast beef in the oven or something. This isn't the recipe or the blog for you.

And there you have it - the real deal, or as close to the real deal as a phoney like me is ever going to get. It's unassuming, but the power within the purée will never leave you wanting more. This entire blog entry took maybe twenty minutes to photograph, not including the annoying mini-photoshoot I have to do for the gif at the beginning; just imagine how fast you'd be able to throw this one together without a big, heavy camera hanging around your neck like a dog collar. I may be a whore, but that doesn't mean I don't deserve something hot and wet in my belly whenever I feel cold and empty inside.

How did you like that one? Quick and dirty, just how I prefer. If you're a slut on the go like me, this soup is the perfect thing to pack in your nasty little mason jar lunch.