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zucchini boats


Ah, yes. Another hump day, hot off the press. We're two days away from hearing Friday's sweet siren song once again, and not a moment too soon. I could really use a glass of wine right about now.


Welcome back to Zucchini Week. It's day three and we're about to introduce an ingredient that's never been used on this blog before: lentils. That's right, whether you love 'em or you hate 'em, they've proven themselves time and time again as one of the most versatile legumes out there. What are we gonna do with them today? We're gonna stuff some inside of a zucchini, American-style. Your enthusiasm is palpable through my computer screen.



one zucchini

one cup of lentils

one cup of vegetable broth

one cup of spaghetti sauce

one cup of water

one quarter of a red bell pepper

one quarter of a white onion

one cup of spinach

one tablespoon of tomato paste

two tablespoons of olive oil

one clove of garlic

one teaspoon of paprika

one teaspoon of cayenne

two teaspoons of salt

one teaspoon of pepper



I feel like this one is going to be kind of underwhelming compared to the spiritual awakening yesterday's parm was. To get started here, fry up the onion and pepper. In the same pot shortly after, get your lentils cooking with the broth, sauce, and water.


Once they've absorbed about half of the liquid, add in your spices and garlic. Give everything a stir and they cover the pot with a lid. Allow to simmer until they have finished cooking, and then mix in the spinach.


I'm pretty sure that the last lentils I made were non-vegan, back in the dark ages. I have no idea why I haven't been eating more of them now because they're fucking delicious. This was the first time I had ever made them this way and I have to say it's going to be really hard going back to just using water. It's like drinking a latte for the first time and wondering how you're ever going to be satisfied with plan old regular coffee again.

Wash the gourd and cut it in half. Use your happy little spoon to scoop out its seeds. Make it match the way you feel inside.

Once your lentils have cooled slightly, you're ready to start packing them the hell in. I was so distracted by the concept of stuffed zucchini boats as a whole that I neglected to oil down or even season the zucchini itself. The lentils honestly turned out so extraordinary that I really didn't think I would have to. I was sort of right, but I promise you these things would not have gotten me laid if put to the ultimate test. That's just fine by me.

After stuffing, I baked them at 350° for about forty-five minutes, until the tops of the lentil mounds just started to turn golden brown and crispy. It looks a little like a crime scene because our friend there on the left somehow sprung a leak while he was roasting. I'm not sure if I'm ever going to be able to get this tray clean again.

I have endless praise for this recipe, and I am not just saying that because I invented it with my own two hands. It pleases the palate and invigorates the senses, leaving no stone unturned in terms of flavor. It's great either on its own or with a side salad. Combo move, bitches.


I ended up eating one for dinner and bringing the other to work for lunch the next day; they kind of look like silly pork chops if you squint and don't think too hard about it. If I ever made it again, I would definitely marinate the boats themselves before stuffing and baking them, but aside from that, I think they're perfect just the way they are.

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